Tamu McPherson:

Henrietta and Diane, tell us about how your family and childhood influenced your hair and beauty standards. Who were the important figures and the important moments? Since you grew up together, are they similar, or did you have two very different experiences? 

Henrietta Gallina:

So, we are Ghanaian. We come from a very large, traditional Ghanaian family. So, in terms of hair, it was the whole kind of cultural idea that it's your crown jewel. It's a thing that kind of does you up, your sartorial crown. And so, it was mom and aunts and friends of family, switching up the hair and the head wraps and hair for church and the hair for the christening, and a different hair for the wedding and a different hair because you're bored, and the hair colors and the shapes. We grew up with that sort of influence. Also, I'm one of five–there's five of us, four girls. So, it was also keeping up the maintenance, matching hair, we are all going out, let's go out as a family. Let's make sure that if one wants a curly perm, you'll get a curly perm. If this one's wearing bubbles, you're all wearing bubbles. There were a lot of influences, and a lot of prescriptive styles, shall we say. 

But I think that was, that was just the thing. It was almost just taking it all in, and not so much having a personal reverence for what I wanted anyway.

Diane Tuffuoh: 

I agree, being Ghanaian played a huge, huge influence in how our parents styled our hair.  I remember even to dry our hair, there was this thing called threading–which is still quite popular nowadays–to stretch the hair. But my mom would thread our hair, so we would literally look like, um, what's that character from Rugrats, do you remember? She used to have her hair really spiky.  

Henrietta Gallina:

Angelica. 

Diane Tuffuoh: 

That's it. It would just help straighten our hair, dry hair and it made life easier for my mom. But at the time it was sitting there getting this hairstyle done, being like, oh, I hope no one has to see me like this. And there were times that my mom would do it in a way that we can take it to school. But it really was similar hairstyles. And because we are four girls, my mom had a lot on her hands to do our hair as well. 

Even playing when we were younger, the whole thing was more straight and silky textured hair. Natural and Afro hair wasn't really in fashion at that time.  I remember even as children, us playing together, do you remember when we used to put shirts on our heads so that it looked like we've got long hair. We would be pretending to flip our hair and put it behind our ears and stuff. So even playing with dolls, all the dolls had blonde straight hair. So that's kind of what we mimicked even when we were playing together. 

Henrietta Gallina:

I think it's interesting. There’s a lot of joy–those memories of going to Auntie's house to get your hair done and all that stuff. But there's also, thinking about it, a lot of trauma. Getting a curly perm or getting your hair relaxed and you're like, it's burning my scalp. And being like, that means it's working. You're like, what? 

Even just the cultural references: we were 90’s babies, so it was Aaliyah and TLC, and these Western ideals of beauty within Blackness... it was a lot. It was a lot of stimulation.

Tamu McPherson:

I can relate to everything that you're saying, especially playing with the shirt on the head. I had to get the press, the hot comb press because my mom did not allow me to get a relaxer until maybe you guys were born. Cause I got my relaxer in the 90’s. I can totally relate to that. The saying is beauty is pain, and we really had to live it. The chemical burns were horrible. And you would have a sore, a wound, a scab in your head for a week. 

Henrietta Gallina:

Or you'd get the braids from your aunt with the heavy hands, and you’d be taking paracetamol to sleep. Tamu McPherson:

And that's another 48 hours that has to pass before that loosens up. Or just the fact that it took so long. I mean, my aunt would braid my hair–I know that this is something very similar in our cultures–and it would be an all-day affair, because she wasn't a professional hair braider, so it was a lunch, dinner, nap, wake me up in the middle of the night to continue…

Henrietta Gallina:

So you just sit there and watch TV with your hair half done.

Tamu McPherson:

Hair half done! She learned to start around the edges so that she could put it in a ponytail, and I could actually go out. And it was expensive, because she always wanted that silky hair that she would get in Chinatown, because we lived in New York. And so that was the other thing: it was expensive, and we would have to save up to even buy the hair. It was a whole thing. 

Henrietta Gallina:

It was a whole thing. If you paid for that hair, you need to keep that Correct. Someone paid for that. No.

Tamu McPherson:

So, Black women across the world often carry the burden of other people's perceptions and expectations in their professional lives when it comes to appearance. We are policed. What has your experience been, even both of you working in industries that are considered more progressive and inclusive than conventional industries like finance or science. And Diane, you worked in “finance or science”:  what has your experience been with this policing?

Diane Tuffuoh: 

I mean, my career has been broad, but for example, when I was working in children's services, it's super corporate, and everyone dresses in a specific way, and you're not supposed to be as bold with your styles. And I've always been somebody to switch up my hair. I love fashion, I love beauty. So when I go into work, people are like, do you work in family support? You look like you work in beauty or fashion. And the number one comment I would always get is your hair. Your hair, your hair! I would switch it up and you know, I might have straight hair one day, curly hair another, a weave the next month, braids the next month. And it's those like micro jokes that are like, oh, your hair's gotten longer!

How about it has got longer? Okay, how about that? Because I did pay for this hair and it is longer, for sure. People would've seen my hair texture and if I've worn braids for a month, they’d be like, so how long is your hair now? Or, what does your hair look like under that? Or, um, how long did that take? Can I touch it? 

I don't comment, and I don't make the biggest scene when you get highlights. I also don't make the biggest scene when you decide to have a trim or cut your hair or have a different haircut. I genuinely don't understand it. Cause I feel like people do their hair often. I don't think it's a Black thing. People change up their hair: they go lighter, they go darker, they go longer, they put in hair extensions for themselves. And it's just this big thing when you are Black, that it's so much more noticeable. And honestly, it's the biggest frustration I found working in quite a corporate environment. So, that's my experience. 

Henrietta Gallina:

I think that's so interesting, because I have worked in fashion my entire career. So, the last 15+ years. And my experiences haven't been dissimilar, even though the foundations of fashion are meant to be all about self-expression and inclusion and diversity, and sartorial prowess and owning your looks. 

I had braids for 10 years, so from college into my career. And it was a lot of the same. It was whether I got shorter braids or longer braids or curly braids, it's like, oh, is that your real hair? And it's just all of the questions. Which is this veiled policing of the interest, that’s almost the same as when your mom's like, oh, are you going out like that?  It's a question, but it's also not. It's also a judgment. There was a lot of that. Honestly it was just exhausting, especially given that at the beginning of my career, I was often the only Black person, or POC in the department, on the team and the company. So, it wasn't diffused. It was very focused. 

I moved to New York about 12 years ago and just really struggled to someone to braid my hair and going uptown from Brooklyn, and you’re meant to get there at 6:00 AM and they show up at 10, and you're just like, oh, I can't do this… so I'm just gonna cut my hair. And my mom was like, yeah, that's not a reason to cut your hair. That's just lazy. And I was like, I can't, I actually don't care. So I cut my hair. 

And that was a whole new wave, professionally, because I actually in my mind was like, well, I work in this industry, and my mom's like, is it professional work? And I was like, no, I work in fashion. I was working in high fashion at the time, and it was still like, oh, this is a bold look. This is very androgynous. What does your husband think? That was another one. What does your husband think about your short hair?

Less so now because I've had short hair for so long, and being androgynous or individual or having short hair, it has all become en vogue. But the judgment in the questioning, in the observations, in the unsolicited advice or questions, I think it's just a constant. I think just moving through the world as a Black woman, regardless of your industry, your hair is always a defining feature. Ironically, whether you have hair or not. It's always been a thing,

Tamu McPherson:

I'm thinking all these questions about your hair and I'm looking at your faces and… you guys are so beautiful. I would see your face first before–I mean, if you had a really pretty hairstyle, yes, I would notice your pretty hairstyle, but I would be looking at your face and saying, wow, gorgeous. And trying to engage with you and make eye connection. 

I mean, I'm a fellow Black woman, so maybe I experience and share all of your stories about your hair, but it's just crazy that people could be so distracted by the hair. But that is the world that we live in, and we are so policed through our hair because it is a feature that the patriarchy has used to belittle us, essentially. Because it's not straight, because it's not silky.

Henrietta Gallina:

I have a theory as well, because I think that it's; a) another sense of othering, because it's recognizing the difference from “the norm”; but I think it's also because there is this whole idea that all Black people look the same, so I think that big differentiator of, that one with the braid, that one with the buzz cut… It kind of adds to that racial layer of, that's how we're telling you apart. 

Because in my career, it's always like, oh my gosh, you look like so and so. And I was like, I literally look nothing like that person other, the fact that we're both Black. And we're not even the same shape. But it's that differentiator of: oh, cuz you've got no hair and that one had long hair. I think that's why it's distinctive, and less about like your face or your sense of style or the hair, I think is the thing that allows, I think the hair is a differentiator essentially.

Tamu McPherson:

For those who do not do the work to see us.

You both have extremely profound and moving stories. Can you describe your journey to where you are today? How your personal sense of how your hair should be, how it's been defined, how you've arrived there, the things that have impacted you the most, the experiences that have impacted you the most. 

Henrietta Gallina:

I think that because we grew up with hair being such, I don't want to say a chore, but such a big part of our culture and our lives, I went the other way with almost that Steve Jobs approach of dressing. I was like, I'm just going to have braids, just going to have braids that last X amount of time. Then I redo it, and it's easy. I don't have to think about it. And then when that became a challenge, not wanting to spend a day taken out and then a day doing it, I just decided to cut it. And it was really attached to the way that I wanted to live my life, and less about how I wanted to look. And I think that is a big struggle for everyone because everyone, to your point of, beauty is pain, I was like, yeah, I don't subscribe to that.

There was that layer. And then, when I actually cut my hair, grappling with the decision of genuinely wanting that, but then finding it difficult to assimilate in white culture and in Black culture.  The rest of society was like, what does your husband think? Oh, you know, it's not very feminine. At least once a day someone's like, hello, sir. So, you are grappling with this feeling of: am I feminine enough? Can I pull this off? If I'm having a bad hair day, I'm still exposed. And in Black culture and within our family, even our gatherings, it's like, when are you going to grow your hair out? You know? And this expectation that this is just temporary and I'm going to figure out that I'm living the wrong kind of life.

It’s almost a constant commitment. But in fashion, because autonomy and ownership over your body and how you look and how you control that narrative is becoming such a prevalent idea, along with gender fluidity and looking androgynous, now people are like, oh my gosh, it's so cool. Like, oh my gosh, are you tapping into that Balenciaga trend? No babe, I've had this haircut for 11 years. 

I just feel as if I'm constantly grappling with that identity–and delving deeper into that, a couple of years ago, I was really sick. I was diagnosed with advanced cancer and had an aggressive chemo treatment. So, I was in hospital for almost seven months on continuous chemo where I lost my hair. You know, there are the people that make those nervous jokes of like, well, at least you look the same! It's not like you had long hair and they've got no hair! Which I get, but it wasn't helpful. It was interesting being on the cancer ward and suddenly seeing everybody, in essence, look like me. Being sick, but not necessarily looking as sick because not that much has changed. I'm not someone who wears a lot of makeup, if at all. I've had a short haircut. So, I was very, very sick and not necessarily looking as sick as I felt, whereas everyone else looked much more affected.

And it really felt a bit like, well what is my identity? I don't feel that physical shift, in that sense, and then obviously coming through remission, everyone's like, is this the opportunity for you to grow your hair back, to do something different? And I was a bit like, well, I still don't want to do my hair. I'm comfortable with this. Look, I've had it for 10 years. But then when I was at home with my family, my mom was like, you really need to grow your hair, it's really triggering. It's reminding me of the people in the cancer ward, it's reminding me of your cancer. You need to grow your hair. This is your post-cancer life. You need to be different. And trying to figure out what I wanted to do in a way that felt true and honest to me, versus what I felt I had to do to make other people around me comfortable. Which is basically a common thread with how I felt about my hair. 

My daughter is stunning, beautiful. She has the most amount of curly hair, and the constant jokes of, you've got no hair, but your daughter has so much hair, she should give some of it to you. And do you know how to do her hair? It’s also layered and wrapped up in this constant choice to show up as you choose to present yourself, and that constantly being reinterpreted or questioned or interrogated.

And it's been a struggle, but I think it's also been a great learning experience as someone who is deeply shy and quite insecure, in the sense that I'm always a bit like, do I do what I want? Or should I do what makes people happy? For me, it very much is reconciling, on a regular basis, the commitment to want to show up as myself. Because at least every other day I'm like, I'm just going to grow my hair, because someone called me ‘sir’ in front of my CEO, or I was on set and everyone thought I was trans. And then realizing, I'm fine if someone thinks I look more masculine, or I'm fine if someone thinks I'm a man or trans. I know who I am, and this is just what I want to do. I'm not going to bend over backwards to keep a weave or have long hair or do things that don't suit my lifestyle. It's not how I want to spend my time. I'm fine with that. It's kind of built this confidence that I would've had, had I not chosen this route on hair journey.

Tamu McPherson:

We met when you were nine months pregnant. Goddess. You were one of the most beautiful women I've ever laid eyes on, and I met you when you were pregnant and you were stunning, stunning, stunning. Obviously, you stood out in that sea of white editors. And I just fell in love. I love women. 

Diane Tuffuoh: 

It’s so funny, obviously I hang out with my sister, and I'm obsessed with her. I literally say it to her every day: my goal in life is to be you. 

Tamu McPherson:

Me too. There's a lot of us.

Diane Tuffuoh: 

But she’s so humble and her whole essence is just being who she authentically is. And honestly, it radiates to people that get it. It radiates. There's not a day that somebody doesn't stop her to say, you're so stunning. Or, oh my gosh, you're so fabulous. We were in Ghana on holiday and when we were at the hotel, some guy was like, oh my gosh, you're fabulous. I need to know who you are. 

Henrietta Gallina:

This is making me want to sink into my chair. 

Diane Tuffuoh: 

But I think what I'm trying to say is that it's so important to live in your authentic self, do what it is that is truly authentic to you. And you know, obviously I've had conversations with Henrietta even–I remember when you started to lose your hair–and cause her hair's super short as it is, you wouldn't think that the hair actually falls from the follicle, from the actual roots. It was beginning to itch her. You were like, oh, I just need to just shave it. Because as small as the, the hair strands were, do remember?

Henrietta Gallina:

Because I was in the hospital for about a month before I started chemo. So my hair had grown. And as it started falling out, because our hair's quite coarse, it was on my shoulders. It was on my pillow, it was in the bed, because it was shedding, and it was itching me. My best friend Jason got clippers. It almost was quite nice in a way, because I felt like myself again. My hair's always short. But then there was something very sad because I was like, but it's not short in the same way. It's like actual skin. 

But I think to the point of the positives and the negatives, whether it's someone interrogating my identity because my choice to have very short hair, or whether it's someone praising my identity, my nature is to just blend in. I think it's that constant talking point that I grapple with, that I'm constantly trying to reconcile. Cause then I'm like, oh my God, do I look like I'm doing it for attention? Do I look like I'm trying to stand out by having no hair? I'm already someone who's a tall person and I have quite a big frame. I don't want to look as if I'm trying to be the center of attention. So, it's a constant cycle of spiraling and then having the confidence to move forward, and then spiraling and then having the confidence to move forward. And I think as time moves on–bearing in mind I’ve literally had short hair for 11 years–the spiraling is shorter, and the length of confidence is getting longer. I don’t know that I'm ever not going to have that cycle, but it's trending in the right direction. 

Tamu McPherson:

You know, our identity and how we express who we are, it is a journey that includes all of our emotions and all their states at a certain time, and in confrontation with what society is demanding of us and how we're supposed to show up. You just wanting to be yourself and preferring to do what works for you. I'm in your club–my hair is this short because I am low maintenance. I don't want to do it. And I'm not trying to make any statement, but just being yourself is a statement.

Henrietta Gallina:

But even that range of emotion, you are grappling with how it manifests. Because you know, not to sound like a cliche, but as Black women, we don't really get to show a range of emotion. You have to be really agreeable and really polite. Otherwise, you're an Angry Black Woman. Particularly in the beginning of my career when I was younger, I didn't feel empowered when someone's like, oh, can I touch your hair? Can I touch your braid? I don't feel empowered to be like, no.

Tamu McPherson:

No, let's make that clear. Our generation did not feel that empowered. And we get a lot of flack because we weren't saying no. But that's where we were, that's where society was, that was our reality. You know? And I'm having this younger generation feels that empowered, to do so. But that was not our reality at all. 

Henrietta Gallina:

My six-year-old daughter is like, don't touch my hair. She's literally like, don't touch my hair. That makes me happy, because I didn't have that until I was… I didn't have that till five minutes ago. I mean it's a fine line. Because sometimes my mom will ask, if Grace is coming to her house. Are you doing her hair? I'm like, absolutely no! Because her free speech sometimes is on another level. But she's a little My Body, My Choice. 

Diane Tuffuoh: 

But even her transition of learning about how to love her hair and even get her hair done has come so far, hasn't it? Bless her. 

Tamu McPherson:

But Diane, I want to hear your story because you've had a transition, you've really grown into yourself. You've started a business, because of necessity. And because you had to find solutions so that you could be yourself, so that you could give, express yourself the way you wanted to express yourself. 

Diane Tuffuoh: 

I always have loved doing hair. Um, hair has just always been something so funny to me. 

Henrietta Gallina:

You thought you were going to be a hairdresser? 

Diane Tuffuoh: 

Everybody thought I was going to be a hairdresser for sure. I learned a lot of things. I learned how to canerow, I learned how to weave. I learned how to do wigs. I just loved hair. As I was growing up, I would always look after my hair, I would always experiment, I would always do different things. And then around 2017, I was getting a little bit of breakage. I did straighten my hair, and even though I knew how to look after my hair, some of the products I was using just weren't great because of the retailers that sell some of the products.

I thought, you know what, I'm going to start again. Because literally everyone says that me and Henrietta are twins, I was like, I've got a canvas to go by. If I cut my hair all off it's going to work. I already know this. If not now when? I decided on a summer's day in July, and Henrietta literally took the razors and cut my hair off. 

Henrietta Gallina:

My mom was in the corner crying like, how have I failed my children?

Diane Tuffuoh: 

Telling a Ghanaian–and probably not just Ghanaian–a parent that you're cutting your hair… it's as if they think it's not going to grow back. And it's like… it's hair! It’s guaranteed it's going to grow! And even the more you cut your hair, I'm sure you find that you have to cut it all the time, because it grows faster when you cut it. 

So Henrietta cut my hair, and it was the most liberating thing I have ever experienced. The only thing is my scalp was literally orange. I was like, why does my scalp not look like yours? Henrietta was like, oh, it's because it hadn't seen sun, and it’ll get darker over time. I wore wigs because I was just super nervous. Honestly, if we could insert a picture, you guys would all be in hysterics. 

I wore a wig for a few for a while, but at the time I was blogging my experience. Everyone I was sharing it with was like, oh my gosh, this is amazing. You look so stunning. Like, wow, you need to keep your hair like this. And it was kind of that reassurance that I needed, without knowing that I needed it. Once it got darker, I started wearing my hair out, just bald. And honestly, I'd get stopped in the streets. Like, oh my gosh, I love your hair. It's so funny to think, because actually when your hair is that short, you don't really have hair. So when people are stopping you, it's like, okay…  I just found it so odd anyway.

I thought, let me grow back my hair. Because the whole idea for me to cut it was for me to really start again and grow my hair back to be as healthy and as nourished as it could be. So, in that transition of growing my hair back, healthy hair starts at the scalp. I found that there was nothing available and nowhere available for me to go to say, this is where I'm at, this is what I'm doing. What would you recommend? I wasn't even going into shops with people that look like me. How can I take advice from somebody that is the opposite sex? You do not even have the any type of hairstyles that I have, the same hair texture, nothing.

And then through my research, I found that the demographic of people that had those stores basically took a great opportunity. Black people are big buyers, and they're loyal with their pound or dollar. Even within the beauty industry and hair products, they buy–I think it's increased up to nine times, before it was six times–nine times more than other demographics. I was really frustrated with that. I was like, why is this happening? Why is this the narrative, that I can't go into a shop and get products that I know would be really, really good for my hair. That'll have great ingredients that are from trusted brands?

Henrietta Gallina:

It's just so commoditized by other races. The Black hair and beauty industry is very much out of our hands in many ways. 

Diane Tuffuoh: 

Completely. I was like, the narrative must change, and if I'm complaining then it has to change with me. I will be a drop in the ocean to make that change. I decided to start my own online store, which basically stocks a range of different brands. Now, even the transition to that, the whole idea was actually to have a store. And I wanted to really change the narrative with what that store looked like, how people would feel when they come in. Because when I go into hair stores, I'm followed around, the products are on shelves, they're dusty. It's very cluttered. It's just an awful experience as a Black woman going into these stores. And I really wanted to change what that looked like, that shopping experience. I wanted to have some trichologists in store, so that people can actually have a hair consultation.

I wanted to provide knowledge so people make better, informed decisions when they're buying their hair products, understanding what it is they need and when they need it. Understanding their hair type, hair textures, for people with textured hair types. It wasn't even for Black people, it was just people that had curly and textured hair types. And I understand that the demographic of that is more of the Black community. However, since launching my store, I've had Greek people that have super luscious, thick, curly hair say to me, I couldn't find my what I need in Boots or Superdrug. That for me was wild! I thought, oh, Boots and Superdrug is catered for you guys. 

Henrietta Gallina:

Or you go to the Black hair stores, and they have no knowledge or context. They're just like, moisturize your scalp? Blue Magic. 

Diane Tuffuoh: 

And things like Blue Magic clog your pores, clog the scalp. Your scalp is an extension of your skin. You would not stick Vaseline on your face. Just nobody would do it. It's just breaking away from those traditions and myths and things that we used to know, and really kind of relearning how it is important to look after your hair. Healthy hair is exactly that: how healthy it is. Not about how curly it is, or how long it is or how you style it. It's literally about the health of your hair. That transition has allowed me to embrace my hair. I am so mindful of when I straighten my hair, when I curl it, when I have a wash-and-go, because I've put in the work to looking after my hair. My hair's been straightened now for a couple of weeks, and I've been getting stopped like, oh my gosh, you’ve relaxed your hair? No, it's a silk press, but, because I look after my hair, it can literally thrive a silk press. I wash it and it'll revert curly. I've walked in this vein. I told my sister, I've had to fold this hair round, because it's reverting back to curliness, you know? And I love that. I love the versatility of our hair in its natural state. 

Henrietta Gallina:

That's what's been really inspiring for me, personally, watching Diane's journey because as she's learnt and fed her mind, she's like, I need to share this. It’s not as hard as you think. It's all possible. You can still have a look but have natural hair. Even seeing how Diane has used her rollers to have beautiful ringlets, or straightened her hair so that looks relaxed, but it's not relaxed. Her hair's still natural. Or all these styles and masks and things that are easy using natural organic products, things that you eat, things around the house. I'm just like, wow. You are really doing that work for yourself and really invested in disseminating that message so that we can all have that sort of agency over having our own hair and those choices. There’s no need to put chemicals in it or go to these largely commoditized spaces of Black hair with no Black hair products, with no Black hair knowledge. 

Diane Tuffuoh: 

It's called The Afro Beauty Company. Before lockdown it was supposed to be a store. I managed to get a contract with Westfield Stratford City, which is one of the largest urban malls in the UK, or within Europe. Lockdown and COVID happened, and I literally thought all my dreams were shattered. However, it was such a blessing, because I honed my community online and it really allowed me to test the market. Because I was going in with an idea, and they loved it. They, they saw the vision, they realized there was a niche and that was the right demographic. 

It's currently online. I know that there is a need to probably do some pop-ups and have those real-life experiences. We do them via events. My whole vision is to stem past the website and to have those real life, interactive, deep dive experiences. 

Tamu McPherson:

Thank you guys so much for sharing your stories. They’re so multi-layered, and I don't if anyone else knows how complex it is to live as a Black woman, with the features that we have, how they impact us daily, how they truly are an extension of our emotional intelligence and ability to communicate with the world, you know? So I'm so excited that we're having this conversation. 

I want to move into motherhood because you're both mothers. What are your hopes for your children, as they grow up? What do you want her to find in the world? What kind of world do you want them to grow up into, in terms of beauty standards and how they navigate the world. Henrietta, Grace is a biracial child, as is my son.

Henrietta Gallina:

I mean, I really hope that a lot of the internal work that I'm doing can help her navigate her life. And looking at the work that my sister's doing, bringing so many people together, sharing information and meetups and stuff like that. I'm hoping that it really lays fertile ground for all these quite traumatic–funny, but traumatic–experiences to just not even be a thing for her. You know, these ideas of the beauty standards, or you must look like this, or you must look like that. When we were growing up, everything was very trend-led, you know, so it was what you saw in MTV, it was all about Aaliyah, that western ideal.

And that was just it, because we had very few and specific channels of communication, and I'm excited for her to just not feel bound to anything, whether it's familial expectations or cultural societal norms or anything like that. I feel excited. You can see with Gen Z, there is this almost innate sense of self where it's like, this is just who I am. Whereas I feel for me personally, I've had to really do the work to get there, I'm in my late thirties. I'm very much like doing the work to be like, this is who I am, and I have the confidence to show up as my full self. I'm excited for her and very hopeful for her that that is almost just inbuilt, because she's never had those barriers to try to break down, you know?

That's not to say that's not going to come without its own struggles, but I think that there is a freer sense of self that I'm so deeply grateful for. 

Diane Tuffuoh: 

And I think even as a parent, you can be your children's voices as well. I've got two boys and both have gone on their own hair journey. My youngest son has got such long hair and has thick, proper thick hair. About three years ago, he wanted to dye blonde. I was like, hey, why not? And I remember my mom saying, oh, what's the school going to think about it? And I was like, I actually want the school to phone me, and ask me what happened.

I mean, they didn't, which was good for them. But I thought, why can't he have color? Why can't he express himself in these ways? 

Henrietta Gallina:

Do you remember when we were in primary school, there was a thing of bubbles and when you would have bubbles at the end of your hair, and I mean, they used to police us. Yeah. And my mom's like, well, how is it going to be any different today?  Coupled with that whole idea of identity politics. Well, you want to make sure you don't get too wild. You don't want to be the wild Black child. You've got to be presentable and fit in. So, I think it's also a generational thing.

Tamu McPherson:

Absolutely generational. And this generational conversation with your mom being at the top, and you guys in the middle, and now with the children being the third generation that are so ahead of where we are. I've been listening to your mom's reaction, and it's related to the community's reaction on every step. And how we police ourselves to conform to societal norms of how we should present ourselves in the world as Black people, as BIPOC people. And bless your mom. Bless my mom because they're doing the best that they can do to ensure we're safe. And that we're not judged. 

Your other son, what is he doing with him himself?

Diane Tuffuoh: 

He’s in the corporate world, and again, he's gone through this transition with his hair. His hair was long at one point. He wanted it braided, so I braided it for him. He was at quite a strict Catholic school, and so even when he had grown it out just to a bit of a high top, the school had something to say about it. And for me, your hair is, it's categorically not impacting his education. In fact, suppressing how he wants to express himself through his hair is what will affect his education. So, I was very vocal about it: if you have a problem with how my son comes to school and it's affecting his education, absolutely let's have a conversation. Burt he’s going to come to school as he wishes. 

And there was this back and forth about it, and I was on the governing body at my son's old school. So, it was very important for me to vocalize the importance of allowing children to express themselves. They're already in uniform. So that identity will be expressed in those other small details like their hair, you know? As long as it's presentable, I don't honestly see a problem. 

So now that he's in the corporate world, he's still feeling it a little bit. But he is definitely embracing whatever he wants, however he wants to have his hairstyle, and he's a bit bolder about that, which I'm happy about. He's also plugged into the diversity areas of his workplace to be the young, vocal person to express these views, which I'm very proud of. So, I think our voices as parents are essential for our children to have loud voices in the spaces, in the rooms that they enter. 

Tamu McPherson:

It’s interesting to see that today, we can advocate for our children in this way, whereas our mothers could not advocate the same way. Even in Jamaica today, I see headlines where schools are reinforcing rules that prevent young people from having dreadlocks, and the government having to intervene and point out how backwards that it.  A child should be able to attend the school wearing dreadlocks, and that's just specific to Jamaica and the Rastafarian history in Jamaica. 

But advocacy and letting children know they have agency with regards to their appearance is the way of the future. As you said, it's not at all impacting their academic experience, but if you suppress their ability for them to express themselves, they might perform poorly, and how much history do you need to see that? 

Henrietta Gallina:

If you think about the Crown Act only recently being enacted, where it's like, how does me having braids or a high-top impact my data input job or my ability to teach kids? I think it's just a general point of the policing and, and being able to just show up as your full self because everyone else seems to be able to.

Tamu McPherson:

And it's the othering, the trying to control vast aspects of our beings. 

I want to talk about industry. Henrietta, as a brand consultant for some of the brands striving for the most progressive and inclusive narratives, you've always been at the forefront of the direction the industry is moving and where it needs to go. How do you feel the industry has evolved over the past few years, and where do you feel it can continue to grow?  Considering the enthusiasm to support inclusion and equity that occurred after George Floyd, and now what's occurring as that enthusiasm is visibly dissipating.

Henrietta Gallina:

It's funny, I was just talking to that point with a friend. I think there's obviously a cultural shift where in general, it's less of a top-down approach, in terms of these gatekeepers disseminating the stories that we must adhere to and aspire to. You know, the people that we have to look up to, this bottom-up change of culture dictating business decisions and creative moves and even hiring practices, I think has been a huge milestone for just us. That said, it does breed a lot of performative moves that  don’t necessarily allow people to be accountable, for those checks and balances to be in place, in the sense that if you have an ad campaign that taps into the trend of streetwear with a guy with dreads, but internally you are not allowed to wear dreads, or there aren't even any Black people to be policed about wearing dreads, that's problematic.

Equally this idea of ‘we are diverse’: it's also good business, because, to the point about the Black dollar, the Black pound, it's just good business. So, this conversation feels… not redundant, but it feels just really stupid in, in many ways because it's just good business. Be inclusive, be representative of the people that you want to buy your product. And keep it pushing. So that's the way I've always approached my work. 

That just makes good business sense on a very basic level. I think based on the cultural bottom-up approach of decision making, the idea that it's good business, and if you are not a brand that's factoring those things in, you'll go out of business. I'm very confident that we're trending in the right direction, but obviously, much like sustainability and greenwashing, it kind of muddies the waters around how the business or the industry is being held accountable to what they're preaching. It is two sides of a coin, but I think overall it's trending in the right direction for sure.